What is incredibly easy to get caught up in, though, is this notion that there should be an end point or a kind of “achievement” one can attain in being rid of negative self beliefs. There is a kind of personal growth determinism in “trying to be the best you” that actually leaves ourselves in the dust. I think the biggest edge in working with anything we do that isn’t working for us is to meet that “thing” with loving acceptance. Why?
If we try to do a disection job with our negative stories then we aren’t afforded the opportunity to feel and experience and notice all the ways “that story” has served us as well as hurts us. By forcing change upon ourself, we get rigid and then aren’t open to any change. We find ourselves using personal growth or even our own personal therapy to further get away from what we actually need to meet inside ourselves and be curious about. What was the five year old in us trying to do when he or she wrote that fairytale? Keep us safe? Keep us healthy? Keep us alive? Keep us noticed? When we can deeply respect and honor and feel the underlying intelligence in fairytales our psyche ripens for change through this kind of acceptance. I myself still have to meet aspects of myself every day with curiousity and acceptance rather than rigid fixing and the process is humbling.