Schema Therapy For Couples: Mode Clash Card

Mode Clash Cycle tool adapted from Roediger & DiFrancesco (2013). Clinical adaptation by Traci Ruble LMFT 51082.

Come fill this out after every sticky conflict. Not in the middle of one but after your brain has stopped building a winning court case against your partner. You will know it is time to fill this out because you will have settled enough that you can be at least a little curious.

The clashcard follows the interactive dance between two people when things get hard: something triggers an old wound, a feeling fires, a protective response takes over, and two protective coping strategies collide in the middle. What both people actually needed goes unmet. And then you clash again the same way again, different topic.

Working through the card after a difficult moment helps you slow the cycle down and see it more clearly. Fill in what you can for each of you. The most important section is the clash in the middle: when you select both coping responses, the card describes what that collision tends to produce and why it keeps both of you from getting what you need.

You do not have to complete every field. Bring what you have.

Your entries are saved privately on your own device. Nothing is sent to me automatically or saved here on my website. If something feels worth sharing, take a screenshot and email it to me before our next session.