On the Blog
Relationships, Psychology & Being Human
Essays on love, conflict, connection, identity, community, and the strange business of being human.
Browse Topics
Why Does My Marriage Feel So Unequal? Managing Fairness & Scorekeeping
Feeling like your marriage is unfair? Learn why scorekeeping and the invisible mental load fuel resentment, and how to create more balance and connection.
Is My Calling Or Leadership a Trauma Response and/or Coping Strategy?
Feeling burned out or over giving? Discover how to tell if your calling and leadership is truly yours or a trauma response in disguise.
The Most Commonly Asked Couples Therapy Questions (and Honest Answers)
Search for online couples therapy near me and have questions about couples therapy? Get answers to the most common couples therapy questions.
What Makes Orna Guralnik's Couples Therapy Different From Every Other Love Expert
Why do so many couples therapists miss the heart of the matter? In this reflection on Jay Shetty’s interview with Dr. Orna Guralnik, I explore how real transformation in relationships happens not through technique, but through safety, respect, and the courage to witness difference. Orna models what it means to create a space where truth lives—and why that’s the real work of love.
Feeling Disconnected from Life? Maybe It’s Time to Rethink Your Beliefs and Philosophy
What if your low-level disconnection, that vague sense that something’s off, isn’t a sign you need another self-help tool but a sign you haven’t checked in with your core beliefs in a while? In this post, I explore the ideas of philosopher Luis de Miranda, who says we’re not just minds to fix but meaning-makers in need of dialogue. I’m not trained in his approach (yet), but I’m poking around because I think he’s onto something.
Are You Using Therapy to Emotionally Manipulate Your Partner?
If therapy is making you more articulate at controlling someone rather than more courageous at feeling with them, you’ve turned healing into a weapon. This piece is a gentle call in to check yourself on this behavior.
A Step-By-Step IFS Parts Mapping Guide For More Loving Relationships
Originally created as a worksheet for couples therapy, this in-depth guide helps you use Internal Family Systems (IFS) to track your emotional patterns, understand your partner, and access your Wise Adult Self. Now available as a blog resource for all.
Transform Your Couples Communication with Couples Therapy for Communication Using NVC
This article will walk you through:
A simple primer on what NVC is and how to use it (without sounding like a robot).
A list of universal needs and a list of feelings to help build your emotional vocabulary (because “fine” is not a feeling).
The four-step communication protocol that makes NVC so useful.
What to do when your partner says "no" to your request (spoiler: it doesn’t mean you have to give up).
How the listener in the conversation can respond so you both feel like humans, not negotiators.
How ADHD and Menopause Impact Marriage | Communication & Connection Tips
How ADHD and Menopause dance together and what you can do about it.
A Note About How I Write
I write from more than 20 years of clinical experience, ongoing professional study, and a fairly relentless curiosity about why humans do what we do.
I use AI as a thinking and writing partner to research, chase ideas, develop drafts, and edit. Then I question it, fact-check it, rewrite it, and make the final piece mine. The clinical thinking and conclusions here are my own.
Any clinical stories are composites drawn from patterns across many years of practice, with details changed to protect confidentiality.
The fine print: This blog is for education and reflection, not individualized psychotherapy, mental health care, medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
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